You know your Goth if... And other Gothic Humor.

Good morning everyone! Today's post is rather "Top-of-my-head." So thik of this as a late "Sunday comics" or somthing along those lines, So here it goes....

"You Know You're Goth when...Your friends are too scared to call you spooky."


"You Know You're Goth when... Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years"


"You Know You're Goth when... You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"


Two Goths are walking down the road, one says "I just bought the new Love Like Blood CD." The other says "Fuck me, a talking Goth!"
What's black and knocks on the window?
A Goth in a microwave.
How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, five to scream "Turn that bloody light off!"
Two vampire bats are sitting in a cave feeling hungry. There's no food about and both are starving. One tells the other that he's had enough and is going out to look for food. He returns 15 minutes later with rich red blood all over his mouth. His friend is amazed and says “where did you get that?“. The other bat takes him over to the mouth of the cave and, looking out over the fields asks his friend “Do you see that big old oak tree over there?“.
“yes“ replies his friend.
“Well I didn't !!!“


What's another name for a gothgirl?
A Crow-ho.

How does a perkygoth paint her ceiling black?
She dyes her hair and starts bouncing.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to replace the UV tube, and one to put Floodland on.


goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

I'm so goth I don't need an alarm clock, a priest wakes me up every morning saying "The power of Christ compels you, The power of Christ compels you..."

I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
goth #3: What's a smile?

I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
I'm so goth I put the boogie man in therapy....I hear he is still there


I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!"


I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!


I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.


I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.


I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.


I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!


I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side

I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.


I'm so goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.


I'm so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.


I'm so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.


I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.


I'm so goth, when our teacher told us to write the declaration of independence, I wrote the declaration of sindependence.


I'm so goth I sleep with my hands crossed on my chest.


I'm so goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.


I'm so goth I don't laugh...I cackle.


I'm so goth, I don't buy black clothes; I put them on and they TURN black.

goth #1: I'm so goth my eyes only see black and white.
goth #2: I'm so goth that if I opened my eyes the colours would kill me.
goth #3: I'm so goth I blinded myself so I could always see black.


I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me, "What are you plotting?"


I'm so goth i name myself after a german architectural style

Goth #1: I'm so goth I painted all my light bulbs black
Goth #2: I'm so goth I drilled little holes in all my light bulbs and filled them with black paint
Goth #3: I'm so goth I dodn't use light bulbs
Goth #4: What's a light-bulb?
Goth #5: What's light?

A raven on your bust of Pallas is worth two bats in the belfry.


Don't bite the hand that feeds you – go for the wrist where the veins are easier to find.


Speak softly and carry a big stake.


The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Then the dawn comes and everything sucks.


Bela Lugosi is still undead- and outside your window.