You know your Goth if... And other Gothic Humor.

Good morning everyone! Today's post is rather "Top-of-my-head." So thik of this as a late "Sunday comics" or somthing along those lines, So here it goes....

"You Know You're Goth when...Your friends are too scared to call you spooky."


"You Know You're Goth when... Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years"


"You Know You're Goth when... You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"


Two Goths are walking down the road, one says "I just bought the new Love Like Blood CD." The other says "Fuck me, a talking Goth!"
What's black and knocks on the window?
A Goth in a microwave.
How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, five to scream "Turn that bloody light off!"
Two vampire bats are sitting in a cave feeling hungry. There's no food about and both are starving. One tells the other that he's had enough and is going out to look for food. He returns 15 minutes later with rich red blood all over his mouth. His friend is amazed and says “where did you get that?“. The other bat takes him over to the mouth of the cave and, looking out over the fields asks his friend “Do you see that big old oak tree over there?“.
“yes“ replies his friend.
“Well I didn't !!!“


What's another name for a gothgirl?
A Crow-ho.

How does a perkygoth paint her ceiling black?
She dyes her hair and starts bouncing.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to replace the UV tube, and one to put Floodland on.


goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

I'm so goth I don't need an alarm clock, a priest wakes me up every morning saying "The power of Christ compels you, The power of Christ compels you..."

I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
goth #3: What's a smile?

I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
I'm so goth I put the boogie man in therapy....I hear he is still there


I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!"


I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!


I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.


I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.


I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.


I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!


I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side

I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.


I'm so goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.


I'm so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.


I'm so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.


I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.


I'm so goth, when our teacher told us to write the declaration of independence, I wrote the declaration of sindependence.


I'm so goth I sleep with my hands crossed on my chest.


I'm so goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.


I'm so goth I don't laugh...I cackle.


I'm so goth, I don't buy black clothes; I put them on and they TURN black.

goth #1: I'm so goth my eyes only see black and white.
goth #2: I'm so goth that if I opened my eyes the colours would kill me.
goth #3: I'm so goth I blinded myself so I could always see black.


I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me, "What are you plotting?"


I'm so goth i name myself after a german architectural style

Goth #1: I'm so goth I painted all my light bulbs black
Goth #2: I'm so goth I drilled little holes in all my light bulbs and filled them with black paint
Goth #3: I'm so goth I dodn't use light bulbs
Goth #4: What's a light-bulb?
Goth #5: What's light?

A raven on your bust of Pallas is worth two bats in the belfry.


Don't bite the hand that feeds you – go for the wrist where the veins are easier to find.


Speak softly and carry a big stake.


The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Then the dawn comes and everything sucks.


Bela Lugosi is still undead- and outside your window.

I freaking love these songs.

Lipstick.

Let's say that Black lipstick looks horrible on and it makes you look like a trying-to-hard-hooker. Well if thats the case, then whats a goth to do? Easy, other weird colors of coase! But there are two problums.
 1.) Were to find them.
2.) Were to find them other then a Halloween store?
So, here are some tips to finding the perfect lip shades, (Other then black.)




Me with Blue/Violet lipstick.

 Eyeshadow
First- cover your lips with the make-up that you use to cover up pimples and or other bad or ugly things on your face.
Second- cover your lips with LOTS of chapstick.
Third- Take a eyeshadow or lip bush, dip it in desired color and start aplying.
Fouth- Aply more chapstick.
NOTE:

Read the labels of the products to be used. While minerals are all natural, some other loose eye shadows contain extra chemicals, additives and preservatives that should not be ingested. Stick with all natural products for obvious safety reasons
Read more: How to Use Loose Eye Shadow for Lipstick | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4487711_use-loose-eye-shadow-lipstick.html#ixzz1K6hNnSdB

Manic Panic also has a line of abnormal colors such as AfterMidnight, Black Rose, Blood Red, Blue Valitine, Cobweb, Green Envy, Hells Bells, Kiss of Death, Marilyn, Mod a Go Go, Raven, and Vampire. Here is the link if you want to order some.

The (amazing) art of KatSaw

First, I would like to apologize for not being on here. I lost the password for my Google account so I spend two days trying to hake my way back on here, and guess what! It worked! :)
So before I start sharing pictures with you I would like to post a link to the owner of the art, KatSaw.
And, I behold....

Zombified (My favorite)



Skelecrow



Twins



Screaming Man




Skeletal



Playboy Frank

 And that is the end of this post! Here is the link, yet again, if you want to see more of her art!

A Link.

Hello! Sorry I haven't made a post since my small "Vampire Kisses" post. Well to day a very close friend E-mailed me these links:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090823144433AA8zFrq

I just had to send you guys this because most of the answers were saying things like: "So, it's up to them how they dress. Don't judge them on looks."
So hopefully if you were being bullied today because how you look, then maybe this would put a smile on your face.

Book Review: Vampire Kisses

Hello everyone! I would like to thank all of my amazing subscribers for, well subscribing.

Sixteen-year old Raven Madison started her obsession with the dark side in kindergarten. While the teacher was asking her young students what they wanted to be when they grew up and getting the typical responses of nurse, fire fighter, and football player, young Raven answered the question the only way she knew how--she wanted to grow up to be a vampire.
Vampire Kisses, a story about a young goth girl, Raven Madison. Raven lives in a surban town that she calls 'Dullsville'. This goth-girl is obsessed with vampires and when a new family moves into the old town mansion, she(and the rest of the town) is convinced that the son, Alexander, is a vampire. The story swirls around and through sibling rivalry, peer relationships, friendships, and love. Raven is a feisty protagonist with a quick wit and a real sense of self. She defends herself and her friends, often besting her peers with humor and a quick tongue.
Raven has no real friends except for Becky, a timid farm girl who lives on the wrong side of the tracks.
And of course, there is Trevor, The boy that Raven tried to bite in kindergarten he’d grown up to be an obnoxious soccer snob that loved to torment Raven to no end.
My rating:   Five stars.

Perky Goths?

In a subculture that is so evolved in the, shall we say; "dark side" of life is there any room to be happy or even hyper? Yes, yes there is.
What would you call a girl with nee lathe purple hair, Glittery eyeshadow, A pink spider web on her black leather jacket, And pink platform boots? A Perke\y Goth of coarse!
Perky Goths tend to love anything Glittery, Pink, Happy and at the same time - Gloomy!
They are to be found clubbing, having picnics, avoiding relationships with mopey goths and being sociable amongst others.
Famous Perky Goths include Adora BatBrat, Kent and Vyxsin, and Abby Sciuto. (Ect.)

Perky Goths have been around since the subculture first started. Most of them are just regular (If there IS a regular goth. Haha) Goths that don't "do" the whole "DOOM! GLOOM! AND NOT SMILING" Thing, and lets face it; only posers and mall goths make that mistake.
Most Perky Goths prefer up beat happy music does that mean they just must be a Cyber? No.  But that also doesn't mean that Perky Goths can't be, heck, Perky Goths can rage from Death Rocker to Gothic Lolita.

Popular bands are: Strawberry Switchblade, The Cruxshadows, The Birthday Massacure, Zombie Girl,Voltaire, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Purple Fog Side, Ashbury Heights, Alice in Videoland, Emilie Autumn, and Ayria.